Confessing History (Freehope Book 3) Page 2

  He was happy to see her; deep inside, his soul warmed at being in the same room with her again. But his anger lived too close to the surface these days and it was hard to hold in.

  His face turned down as his resentment bubbled up like water coming to a boil.

  Had she planned it like this? Wait until he was finally recovering and then drop in on him like a bomb?

  Had his cousins planned this? He’d told them many times that he and Beth were over and that he didn’t want to talk about her.

  The music got louder, and he wasn’t sure if someone turned it up or his senses were heightened because he could suddenly smell her around him, something cool and clean and everything Beth that he couldn’t describe. Fury prickled under his skin that they would bring her here, a place he felt safe, to see him like this.

  “What are you doing?” he growled, sending a scowl not just to her, but to his cousins behind her, as well.

  The smile that lit her lips made him want to melt inside, but he was far too hardened to do that these days. Instead, he looked down at the spot where his left leg used to be, now amputated above his knee.

  Yeah, he was way past being that jovial guy he once was. The guy that didn’t care that Beth couldn’t stay in one place. That guy who was content to take Beth’s scraps because he was confident she’d come back to him when she was ready.

  That guy was long gone.

  In his place, was the shell of that man sitting before her, now filled with emotions that were far darker and harder to reign in. As she stepped up onto the coffee table in front of him, the cheers only getting louder around him, and he felt lost. Adrift in an emptiness where who he used to be once stood. That was what his insides looked like. A black hole of nothingness.

  Between losing Beth that last time and then losing his leg, he was nothing.

  He felt like nothing.

  Her smile lanced through him and he wanted to look away. He scolded himself and tried to talk himself out of it, but he was riveted by her. That was just how they were with each other.

  When she was around, she was the only thing he could see, like magnets that couldn’t be separated.

  It wasn’t until they were apart that he saw how pathetic he was and all the ways she’d shown him that she wasn’t interested.

  In sex, yes. In him as a person, no.

  “Just came to visit,” Beth said, her hips swiveling as she dropped into some kind of squat that pushed her ass out. She went to her hands and knees, sticking that round ass up in the air.

  His cousins couldn’t take their eyes off it.

  Logan seethed, furious with her for being there, furious with himself for still wanting her. He was furious with his cousins for daring to look at her like that.

  But she wasn’t his and she’d gone to great lengths to not be his. If she wanted to play this game, he was going to let her.

  “Good timing on your part,” he said, his eyes on hers. “Wouldn’t want you to miss a party.”

  She cat-crawled off the table and onto the couch, over his legs—or leg as it may be—and straddled his waist, tossing the hat aside and shaking out her red hair.

  Hands on his shoulders, she leaned in, her lips against his ear. “I do like a good party, though this one isn’t as fun as the last one I went to.”

  “Screw anyone worth mentioning or just another one of your regular nights out?”

  That had been a direct hit. She stiffened on his lap, the smile falling from her face.

  “I bagged the best man at my sister’s wedding,” she said, her voice steady, despite her body language.

  “Take it off!”

  “If you don’t mind,” she whispered. “I’m in the middle of something here. Not sure when the real deal is going to show up, so I better entertain you now before I get called out for being a fraud.”

  “Fake it till you make it,” Logan said, his smile not even close to meeting his eyes.

  She crawled herself backwards on her hands and knees, until she was kneeling on the coffee table, sitting on her heels.

  “I’ve found that faking it only takes you so far. Tough to make it when you can’t figure out who you really are,” she told him, her fingers slowly working the buttons of her top.

  She was being so casual about the whole thing, like they could have been talking over coffee, but with every passing second, the skin of her chest was exposed.

  First one button. Her eyes flicked up to meet his and her lips turned up.

  The second button. He could see the swell of her breasts.

  He wasn’t sure he could do it; sweat beaded in his hairline as the men in the kitchen had all crowded into the living room and the noise level grew off the charts. The idea of them seeing her naked was enough to make the top of his head blow off. It was just unthinkable.

  But they weren’t together and she was her own woman. If this was what she wanted to do, then he was going to let her do it.

  When the third button came loose and her lacy little bra, if you could call it that, came into view, Logan hardened.

  The fourth button was near her belly button and when she brought her arms down, the top gaped open. He was millimeters from seeing her perfect nipples and he almost couldn’t drag his eyes away. He remembered in exact detail what her body looked like. He didn’t need her to take the top off to see her breasts; he just needed to close his eyes and recall the memories. In a minute, every man in the room would be able to do the same thing.

  The fifth was a mere formality and when it opened, Beth held her arms out.

  “I could use a hand with the sleeves,” she said, her blue eyes locked on his.

  He didn’t move, two of his cousin’s friends doing the honors. They each grabbed one sleeve and pulled. Within seconds, Beth was kneeling on the coffee table in nothing but her bralette and his fatigue pants.

  He’d yet to see her wear anything that didn’t make her look sexy and this was no exception. Her skin was tanner than when he’d seen her last, but would still be considered pale. Her body was fit and muscled, moving under her skin as she paraded around for everyone to see.

  She stood, much to the crowd’s delight, and danced around on the coffee table a bit, then she stepped to the floor and wrapped her arm around someone’s neck and gyrated against him. She turned her head to watch Logan the entire time.

  It was sexy and exhilarating, but also infuriating.

  The man put his hands on Beth’s hips and she slapped him away. “No touching,” she chided. “You know how this works.”

  She moved away from him and on to the next guy. This time she pressed her back against him and slowly slid down, one arm above her head, one on her tightly muscled stomach. Logan watched as her red hair stuck to the guy’s shirt as she slid down, covering his chest.

  A wave of jealousy, so sharp it could have cut him open, lanced through his gut.

  Eyes still locked on his, she stepped to him like she was a model on a runway.

  “Would you like to do the honors?” she asked, her voice low as she gestured to the button on her pants. His pants.

  “If he doesn’t, I do,” someone called from the kitchen.

  Without a word, his fingers made quick work of the button, and she stepped back up on the coffee table.

  From there, everything happened fast. She didn’t tease or draw it out. He may have felt more prepared had that been the case. No, she just opened them up and let them fall, her tiny white panties in plain view for everyone to see.

  And they did see. They may as well have been in a strip club with a bunch of bikers for as rowdy as the crowd suddenly got. They’d gone from subdued townie carpenters and the like, to frat boys in zero point two seconds.

  All it took was one look at a mostly naked Beth Walker.

  He knew how they felt.

  She kicked the pants away and asked. “You want me to keep going?”

  “I thought you came to entertain me,” he said, faking a calm he didn’t feel.

&nbs
p; Beth shrugged and hooked her thumbs in the sides of her panties. “Up to you. Harder for you to kick me out this way.”

  “I’m sure someone here would take you home.”

  “I could ask them,” she challenged. “See if someone would be so hospitable. Or you could just stop punishing me.”

  His cousin Cole’s head suddenly appeared at Beth’s side as he stood next to the coffee table. “Everything okay over here?”

  “Cole,” Logan began. “Meet Beth Walker. Beth, my cousin, Cole Williams.”

  “The Beth?” Cole stage whispered, his eyes cutting from Logan to Beth and back again. “She said—”

  “She says a lot of things,” Logan finished. “Beth’s gonna do whatever it is Beth wants to do, Cole.”

  “And Beth wants to strip for a room full of dudes?” Cole asked, sounding rightfully disbelieving.

  “Beth’s right here,” she interrupted, turning and resting her hands on Cole’s shoulders and dancing for him. He looked as uncomfortable as any man would when the nearly naked woman dancing against you was most definitely, spoken for. “I couldn’t get Logan to call me back.” She pouted at Cole. “Wouldn’t call. Wouldn’t text. What’s a girl to do?”

  That was skimming the surface of the backstory, Logan thought, annoyed.

  “Take it all off!”

  The crowd laughed at the persistent yeller.

  Beth shrugged and slipped her bra up, over her shoulders and then her head, and turned to the crowd. She did that thing she did with her back against Cole’s front, sliding down and rubbing her hands down her chest, her naked breasts on display.

  Logan nearly saw red. He jackknifed into sitting upright and grabbed his damn crutch, struggling to get the thing on his arm.

  Beth watched him, goading him by squatting all the way down the floor, her head at Cole’s crotch level, her legs spread wide open.

  “I don’t think this is helping,” Cole said, grabbing Beth under the arms and hauling her up. “Everyone out!” he yelled. “Elliot!”

  For the first time all night, Elliot looked like he was about to have some fun, a dark smile spreading across his face. Without hesitation, he began clearing the entire house, yelling all the while for everyone to vacate the premises. Elliot was a bit of a bull; older than them all by at least ten years and bigger by far, he cut an imposing figure.

  Logan appreciated his effort when the disappointed crowd filed out and the cooler, March, New England air blew in.

  Beth still watched him and he watched her. The longer their stare-down lasted, the more her humor seemed to grow. She took some kind of pleasure in the situation, and he wasn’t sure anymore if she was laughing at him or the situation.

  Losing a leg had made Logan rethink everything he thought he knew in life, Beth being at the top of that list.

  “Here,” Cole said, handing Beth the fatigue shirt and averting his eyes.

  Tucker stood by wordlessly, also studiously looking away.

  “I’m good,” Beth said, digging her heels in as usual. She stood hands on hips, her breasts jiggling with the movement, glaring at him.

  “Put the damn shirt on, Beth,” Logan growled, standing from the couch and struggling to gain his footing with the crutch.

  “Make me,” she shot back.

  “She’s a pain in the ass,” Elliot complained after he slammed the front door behind their last guest. He stalked over, ripped the shirt from Cole’s hand and nearly wrestled her into it.

  “Hey!” she squawked.

  Logan was equal parts thankful and irritated with Elliot for touching her.

  “So, this is Beth?” Tucker said, filling the awkward silence. “I’m Tucker. That’s Elliot and Cole.”

  “What are you doing here?” Logan asked, feeling steadier on his foot.

  “Seriously?” she shot back, pulling a face. “That’s how you want to play this?”

  Cole laughed under his breath and guided her to sit in a chair.

  “Why don’t we all just chill for a few minutes?”

  “I’m going to bed,” Logan growled and then glared at Beth. “Don’t follow me.”

  “Like I’m that desperate,” she argued, her cheeks heating.

  “You could have fooled me,” Logan’s quiet reply hit its mark and Beth shrank back. He felt like a jerk for saying it, but she had to see that whatever they had before, was over.

  Between her issues and now his, they were too different and life had taken them too far apart. Even if he had wanted to fight for her before, forcing her to get stuck with him now wasn’t worth the effort. He’d be nothing but a burden for her. For anyone.

  Unable to leave her there, looking so forlorn, he checked his watch.

  “It’s late. Sleep on the couch.”

  “Good idea,” Tucker agreed. “I’ll get some blankets.” He scurried off.

  “You could sleep in my room,” Cole offered. At Logan’s glare, he corrected himself. “While I sleep on the couch. Take my room while I take the couch.”

  Beth shook her head and stood. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll just grab my stuff and get out of your hair.” She looked to Logan. “I know I’m an asshole for what I did to you and I know you hate me. I don’t blame you, but I had to see you for myself.” Her eyes filled with tears and she looked away, blinking them back. They were nearly gone when her gaze met his again. “Owen told me you were going to be fine, but I couldn’t get myself to believe him until I got to see you with my own eyes.”

  “You saw him,” Elliot said, his voice harsh and grating. “I think you’ve done enough damage for one night. Time to hit the road.”

  “Jesus, El.” Cole shook his head. “Stop being such a hard-ass. Where’s she going to go? The motor inn? She’ll stay here overnight—”

  “No,” she argued. “I’ll just head to my sister’s.”

  “That’s what, almost three hours from here? It’s already past midnight. I can’t let you do that,” Cole argued.

  “He’s right,” Logan agreed, resigned. “Stay the night.”

  Without another word, he turned and headed down the hallway to his room, passing Tucker whose arms were loaded with blankets and pillows.

  They all turned when there was a knock at the door.

  “I hate your friends,” Elliot complained, glaring at Cole.

  “Someone probably just forgot something.” Cole laughed. “Don’t get your undies in a bunch.”

  Tucker trotted to the door and swung it open, only to find a cop on his doorstep.

  “I’m looking for a Logan Hallowell,” the officer said.

  Tucker looked back into the living room and then out onto the porch. “Uh, he went to bed. Is there something I can help you with?”

  The officer then whipped her hat off and shook her hair out, the Velcro of her shirt ripping open.

  “Oh, I heard he’s been a very bad boy. I’ve come to take him in,” the woman cooed.

  Tucker’s loud laugh was the last thing Logan heard before snapping his bedroom door shut for the night.

  2

  Beth hadn’t exactly planned on shacking up with Logan, but she hadn’t expected to end up on the couch either. To be fair, she hadn’t really planned on much of anything at all, as was her usual way of living.

  She’d tried calling and texting Logan multiple times over the past few months, to no avail. Her sisters, Andy and Alex, had kept her completely in the dark about what had happened to him until her last cruise contract ended.

  When they’d finally told her, it was like all the air had been sucked out of her world; her single focus had been taking a breath. When she had, her lungs and body had filled with nothing but the thought of seeing Logan. Loving Logan.

  All it had taken was the thought of losing him—Logan not being alive anymore—and something inside her had clicked into place. She knew she wanted him, that had never been her problem, but she thought she could deny loving him. But those words falling from Andy’s mouth about Logan being injured, how clo
se he’d come to losing not just his leg but his life, and all the scary fell away.

  She loved Logan and all she’d wanted was to lay eyes on him.

  She was so thankful he was still alive. From the little she’d been told, that was a miracle all in itself, but she also knew how much he loved being in the navy. His career was everything to him. She couldn’t imagine how he must have felt, maybe like he completely lost a part of his life.

  None if it seemed real and she’d needed to see him with her own eyes to prove that he was truly okay. She hadn’t expected to be thrown into a situation where she pretended to be a stripper and then actually taking her clothes off.

  Granted, it was a situation of her own making, but still.

  Beth sat on the couch the morning after her disastrous striptease, unable to sleep, wondering what she was going to do now. Logan clearly wasn’t interested in picking up where they left off and after her last trip, her cruising days were over. It was just too long to be away, and she didn’t enjoy the traveling as much as she used to. At least that was what she told herself. In reality, she’d had the worst six months of her life. Not only had she ruminated on what she knew was probably her last night with Logan, but she’d also had the boss from hell. That man alone was enough to send her running from the job she’d been working.

  Going back to her plans for the future, she definitely wasn’t ready to go back to Freehope and settle down.

  Once again, she was adrift in life. She didn’t mind so much. It was kind of freeing, actually. If it wasn’t for one small sticking point, she’d already be gone, searching for her next adventure.

  Logan.

  She wanted him.

  More than that, she needed him. Her life was so boring without him in it. It was like living in black and white when you damn well knew there were colors out there. He was the color in her life and she’d screwed it up royally. She knew that.

  She had a vague notion of fixing what she’d broken; she just had no idea how.

  In a perfect world, she would have smartened up and come running back into Logan’s waiting arms. Problem was, Logan wasn’t waiting with his arms open. Hell, Logan wasn’t even Logan anymore.